Kirkepiscatoid

Many of you already know the story of my cousin J. and our family saga which finally had a happy ending, with J. and wife JM getting custody of J's two kids, (V., age 10, and Z., age 7) from a previous relationship.

Even though J. had the kids roughly half the time, one of the things that he and JM have been seriously working on is getting the kids used to "everyday routines"...before school, after school, mealtimes, bedtime, etc. They were not getting much in the way of regular routines prior to them coming to the two J's house full time. Sitting down to supper as a family every night has been an important part of this.

Part of the "supper routine" is to invite me over for supper a fair bit, just to show that other adults are on board with V. and Z. learning things like table manners, regularly doing homework, etc. So when I'm there I do a lot of the "what did you learn at school today/how was Scouts/ball practice/etc." conversational stuff.

But I did not expect this one....

I was sitting at the table and Z. goes, "Did you know my anus is a planet?"

Me: "Huh?" (I am thinking, "Is he scamming me? What's the punch line?")

Z.: "We learned planets at school. My anus is a planet!"

Me (who is trying not to laugh): "Uh, don't you mean URANUS is a planet?"

Z.: "That's what I said!"

Me (who is now laughing so hard stuff is coming out of my nose): "Honey, the planet is named Uranus. U-R-A-N-U-S...not Y-O-U-R next word A-N-U-S."

I could have killed the two J's b/c neither one of them was exactly coming to my aid. They were too busy choking on their taco pie and laughing.

Z.: "Oh." (Luckily, he did not look too terribly traumatized by this discovery and the fact every adult at the table was speechless with laughter...)

I don't know how we're ever going to get to "ordinary family table manners" with conversations like that....

It's not just the two older ones that provide entertainment, either. Little two year old A. (the two J's child) was in Wal-Mart. Unbeknownst to JM, little A. had pulled down the biggest bra in Wal-Mart (it had to be a double D cup), holds it up to her little chest, and yells, "I NEED DIS FOR MY BOOBS!" I think every prissy old lady in Wal-Mart must have seen this. Once again, JM and I were dying from laughter!

Just think, this is the generation of my family that will be picking my nursing home. God help me!